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Single Parent Homes
Sometimes mothers are left to parent children all on there own. The number of single mothers has changed dramatically in the last 10 years. In fact single mother homes is on the rise. According to Custodial Mothers, there are approximately 13.6 million single mothers in the U.S. today. I myself am a single mother. I know these numbers can be hard to swallow for someone who is really big on family structure or sticking together through thick and thin. Becoming a single mother can sometimes be out of your control though. There are many things that can happen to cause you to be left alone to parent your children. Things like an abusive or unfaithful partner, a drug addicted or alcoholic partner, an over controlling partner.
According to Patricia Tjaden, Approximately 1.3 million women are physically assualted by their partner anually in the United States. In cases like that it is out of your control, and it would be better for your children to end the relationship. I myself was in an abusive relationship for 4 years, and my daughter suffered it for the first 2 years of her life. Leaving him was the best thing I did for her and myself. Many people think that being a single-mother does not have an effect on how a child will progress through out adolescence and into adulthood. The single mother may believe that as long as their child is shown some sort of structural family values i.e.; flexibility, communication, love, support, and understanding, all will be well. All these things are great but can we really say that all will be well? It is very hard for children to grow up in a home without a father. Who will be there to watch their football games and teach them how to throw a baseball? Who will be there when they need to talk about growing into a man? Who will scare all the daughter’s boyfriends on their first date and teach them to find respectful partners? Children need a father for that.
“In our society, women do the bulk of the child care, and thanks to men abandoning their families, there are too many single mothers out there.” (Brott) Is this true? Who is to say? I think the number of single mother homes is on the rise, and the children are the ones who are suffering. According to the 2000 U.S. Census Bureau Report, over 25 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of 3 of the children in America. Nearly 2 out of 3 African American children live in a father absent home. Four out of 10 Hispanic children live in a father absent home, and nearly 3 out of 10 white children live in father absent homes (“Fatherhood”).
This raises the question, what are the long term affects on children raised in a single parent home, where the mother is the primary caregiver? Many people think that in a single parent home there is not much structure, routine, or discipline. In a single parent home the mother usually has to work long hours to support her children, this leaves her children unsupervised or in childcare for 10 plus hours a day 5 plus days a week. I believe they are more apt to turn to gangs, or girls turning to men to seek affection, due to feeling unloved or unimportant. Here are some alarming statistics to back up my beliefs. Four out of 10 U.S. children will grow up without their fathers in the home. Nearly 40% of single-mother children will experience poverty by age 11. Seventy percent of juveniles in state reform come from single-parent homes; these children are twice as likely to become involved in substance abuse or other high risk health behaviors. Girls are 150% more likely to become pregnant and have out-of-wedlock babies than girls from two-parent homes. These children are more likely to be chronically truant and to drop out of school (“Scoutreachbsa”)
Who is to blame for these alarming statics? The mothers, the fathers, the schools, society? According to Cathy Jo Faruque, of Self Help Magazine: Single mothers often have low income and a lack of support from the absent father as well as change in family routine, the family often becomes disorganized and minimal parenting occurs. As children react to their less than secure home lives with distress and anger, discipline may become more harsh and inconsistent as the mother tries to recapture control. Fathers who see their children only occasionally are apt to be more permissive and lenient, which often conflicts with the mother’s style of parenting and makes her task of managing the children on a day to day basis more difficult.
In conclusion children are more likely to become involved in gangs, drugs, teenage pregnancy, and criminal activity in a single parent home, than living with both parents. Could mothers and fathers put aside their differences and stay in the same home until the children are grown? Is this possible or even healthy for the children? According to parenting help, when becoming a singIe mother is out of your control, communication is key. They also state that the most important thing your child needs is to know that they are loved, so set routines, enforce rules, and set aside family time for family activities. By doing so I think your children will grow up happier, and less likely to become a statistic.
Works Cited Brott, Armin A. “Not All Men Are Sly Foxes.” The Bedford Reader. 10th eds. Eds. Kennedy, Kennedy, and Aaron. Bedford/St. Martians, 2009
Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support. 2005. Census.com 22 July 2009
Farque, Cathy, Jo. “Stabilizing Change.” Magazine.com 10 Oct. 2008 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/article/families.
Fatherhood “U.S. Census Bureau.” Census.com 12 Sept. 2008 http://www.fatherhood.org/fatherfactor.asp. Parenting Help.
About.com 22 July 2009 Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just. NCJ 183781, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consenquences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey. (2000). http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/183781.htm
Scoutreachbsa “About Children.” Scoutreach.org. 23 June 2007 http://scoutreachbsa.org/resources/11-309/index.html.
According to Patricia Tjaden, Approximately 1.3 million women are physically assualted by their partner anually in the United States. In cases like that it is out of your control, and it would be better for your children to end the relationship. I myself was in an abusive relationship for 4 years, and my daughter suffered it for the first 2 years of her life. Leaving him was the best thing I did for her and myself. Many people think that being a single-mother does not have an effect on how a child will progress through out adolescence and into adulthood. The single mother may believe that as long as their child is shown some sort of structural family values i.e.; flexibility, communication, love, support, and understanding, all will be well. All these things are great but can we really say that all will be well? It is very hard for children to grow up in a home without a father. Who will be there to watch their football games and teach them how to throw a baseball? Who will be there when they need to talk about growing into a man? Who will scare all the daughter’s boyfriends on their first date and teach them to find respectful partners? Children need a father for that.
“In our society, women do the bulk of the child care, and thanks to men abandoning their families, there are too many single mothers out there.” (Brott) Is this true? Who is to say? I think the number of single mother homes is on the rise, and the children are the ones who are suffering. According to the 2000 U.S. Census Bureau Report, over 25 million children live apart from their biological fathers. That is 1 out of 3 of the children in America. Nearly 2 out of 3 African American children live in a father absent home. Four out of 10 Hispanic children live in a father absent home, and nearly 3 out of 10 white children live in father absent homes (“Fatherhood”).
This raises the question, what are the long term affects on children raised in a single parent home, where the mother is the primary caregiver? Many people think that in a single parent home there is not much structure, routine, or discipline. In a single parent home the mother usually has to work long hours to support her children, this leaves her children unsupervised or in childcare for 10 plus hours a day 5 plus days a week. I believe they are more apt to turn to gangs, or girls turning to men to seek affection, due to feeling unloved or unimportant. Here are some alarming statistics to back up my beliefs. Four out of 10 U.S. children will grow up without their fathers in the home. Nearly 40% of single-mother children will experience poverty by age 11. Seventy percent of juveniles in state reform come from single-parent homes; these children are twice as likely to become involved in substance abuse or other high risk health behaviors. Girls are 150% more likely to become pregnant and have out-of-wedlock babies than girls from two-parent homes. These children are more likely to be chronically truant and to drop out of school (“Scoutreachbsa”)
Who is to blame for these alarming statics? The mothers, the fathers, the schools, society? According to Cathy Jo Faruque, of Self Help Magazine: Single mothers often have low income and a lack of support from the absent father as well as change in family routine, the family often becomes disorganized and minimal parenting occurs. As children react to their less than secure home lives with distress and anger, discipline may become more harsh and inconsistent as the mother tries to recapture control. Fathers who see their children only occasionally are apt to be more permissive and lenient, which often conflicts with the mother’s style of parenting and makes her task of managing the children on a day to day basis more difficult.
In conclusion children are more likely to become involved in gangs, drugs, teenage pregnancy, and criminal activity in a single parent home, than living with both parents. Could mothers and fathers put aside their differences and stay in the same home until the children are grown? Is this possible or even healthy for the children? According to parenting help, when becoming a singIe mother is out of your control, communication is key. They also state that the most important thing your child needs is to know that they are loved, so set routines, enforce rules, and set aside family time for family activities. By doing so I think your children will grow up happier, and less likely to become a statistic.
Works Cited Brott, Armin A. “Not All Men Are Sly Foxes.” The Bedford Reader. 10th eds. Eds. Kennedy, Kennedy, and Aaron. Bedford/St. Martians, 2009
Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support. 2005. Census.com 22 July 2009
Farque, Cathy, Jo. “Stabilizing Change.” Magazine.com 10 Oct. 2008 http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/article/families.
Fatherhood “U.S. Census Bureau.” Census.com 12 Sept. 2008 http://www.fatherhood.org/fatherfactor.asp. Parenting Help.
About.com 22 July 2009 Patricia Tjaden & Nancy Thoennes, U.S. Dep't of Just. NCJ 183781, Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consenquences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey. (2000). http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/183781.htm
Scoutreachbsa “About Children.” Scoutreach.org. 23 June 2007 http://scoutreachbsa.org/resources/11-309/index.html.
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