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The Good In Divorce
The Good in Separation Divorce, a word that usually is associated with hardship, change and confusion. Separation is hard for any child to deal with, no matter what the age. And with the average first marriage having 2.5 children (Kreider and Elliot 3) , millions of children have to deal with divorce. But even with all the hardship and change can good things come from parents being divorced? I tend to believe that divorce can be a good with all involved parties especially the child. Going through adolescence and childhood is a hard thing even with the best of parents. Separation can make this time in life even more difficult. But even with divorced parents a child can be productive and grow in to a better person. Separation changes a child in a number of good ways, it can help a child grow into a better person. With 12.5 percent of parents being married twice, (Kreider 7) additional parents are often involved in separation. The additional figures can help to change and assist the child by giving them another perspective, which they might of not had otherwise. The child can also learn from the step-parents mistakes' and triumphs and help to make them a better and well rounded person. These influences can be very beneficial to the growth and development of a child, the additional guidance is indispensable. Separation can also lead to better conflict resolution, both internally and externally. W The step-siblings came be a very confrontational part of a divorce. And the blending of two different family's can disrupt the normal flow of things. This can lead to fights between children, but it also can help the children learn to deal with disagreements between people. Through these problems children learn to solve problems collectively. Confrontation also teaches children the differences in people and how to accept people even though you have different ways of doing things. My dad's girlfriends kids and I had many disagreements and we learned to work around and live with our differences. We also learned ways to resolve our disagreements. The hardest part of a divorce could be the internal conflict a child has to deal with. The children often feel even more stress than the parents. I feel Donna Colt put it best by saying “As a mother in a relationship that I was not comfortable in, I realized that my three little angels were going through a greater amount of stress than I was. I told myself that I am a big person...these are little people so the amount of stress that I am feeling is so much greater for them. ” (Colt 1) What parent do i want to live with? Is all of this my fault? Why is this happening? These are all questions that myself and others asked ourselves. The emotional conflict within a child and dealing with this conflict can have a huge impact on a child. But a child can learn beneficial ways to deal with the conflict. These lessons can help the child through life and help them deal with the hard choices. The parents can also help to ease the pain in this process by letting the child know that it is not their fault. And by just talking to the child the parents will be able to gauge how and what the child is feeling. Communication is the key to ensuring the happiness of children. Like Toby Hardwick says “When you communicate, make sure that you listen to what your child is saying too. Do not to all the talking.” (Hardwick 1) In a divorce a child can start spending more time alone. Through this time alone the child can develop a good sense of independence. This sense of independence is good for a child it can help them depend on themselves instead of on others. Which in turn can help the child grown in to a productive adult. I personally spent a lot of time alone while my dad was at work it taught valuable lessons in keeping busy and fending for myself. A divorce never fully splits parents up; they still have a common interest in the child. Both parents need to realize that even though they are split they still have to work as a productive team. Both parents being in the child's life is essential for healthy child growth. Through both parents being involved the child will still feel loved and safe. This will also help to reassure the child that none of this is their fault. Communication with the child is a big part of having a productive relationship with the child. My parents worked very hard together to make sure I had a good life. They didn't always agree but they made sure not to fight in front of me, or talk down about one another. I personally know how hard a separation can be and the affect it can have. I also know that I am now a stronger and better person. The struggles that I personally dealt with have taught me so much about myself and about others. These lessons I find irreplaceable, they have been a blessing in disguise. I have learned that not all change is bad, but that it is a chance to grow and become a better person. It is my struggles that I have overcome that have taught me most. Through all of this change the child can grown in a productive and loving environment. As the child gets older they will understand and become more comfortable with the changes in life. They can begin to see the good in change even though the situation looks grim. It can open the eyes of children to the differences of people and their situations and how to co-exist with others in a beneficial manner. Even through the trials and tribulations of a divorce good changes can happen. Through the hard work of both parent and child all parties involved can learn and grow from such experiences.
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Akearl1990 |
Latest page update: made by Akearl1990
, Mar 10 2010, 4:20 PM EST
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| Akearl1990 | essay 3 | 0 | Mar 10 2010, 4:16 PM EST by Akearl1990 | ||
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